Sixteen years ago, I met the man I would marry. It took many years before he would get down on one knee and ask me to be his wife. But maybe now I have my happily ever after.
The Twelfth Stroke Of Midnight
My happily ever after started a long time ago. It was on New Year’s Eve, just when the twelfth stroke of midnight struck that 2016 started, and I wore my engagement ring. Robert knew exactly the one I wanted, simple and round, white gold and delicate. I waited for so long to have my dream come true.
I had lost nearly 82 lbs, I could wear whatever I wanted, and all would be perfect, wouldn’t it? But sadly, I didn’t see the ‘me’ everyone else saw. Robert would choose my clothing size for me because I always ordered XL (extra-large) when I needed XS (extra-small.)
Shy by nature, I wouldn’t say a word about our engagement, but he had me show the ring to his family when we celebrated New Year. Everything changed, the attention was on me, and I wasn’t used to it. All I wanted was to cherish every single moment as a bride-to-be.
Poor Unfortunate Soul
When I was a child, my grandmother would say that men were pigs. As I grew older, she would say that I would end up with a dirty trucker who’d beat me up.
I wasn’t beautiful enough or worthy enough. My grandmother also referred to my cutting and bulimia resulting from me ending up with a ‘wife-beater.’
I was afraid for a very long time until I broke free from my chains. I moved away and started over, but the wounds never healed. I followed my mother to where she would be hosting karaoke.
One Day I’ll Be Part Of Your World
I met Robert at a Halloween party where live bands played. He was the singer of a rock band, and I was in the crowd. He noticed me.
Nothing but breadcrumbs were what he had to find me again, and he did. I tried every trick in the book to have him go away, afraid of him, but he was kind.
I didn’t know why my heartbeat was faster with him, but I knew it was something new. It was love.
My Once Upon A Time
Robert and I went through the curses that malevolent forces would throw at us to forge our love story. We grew stronger with every year passing by. We lived in the house I grew up in with my grandfather so he wouldn’t be alone. After my grandmother passed away, I didn’t want him to sell the house and move in.
Many years went by that I cherished and loved. I am grateful to have had so much time to spend with my grandfather. I had so many adventures to go on.
It was a whole new life to spend, and I lived it with magic and a smile and the wind in my hair. I sang, and it was like walking on air. Everything I thought I’d be was because of my grandfather and Robert.
Remember Who You Are
But it’s the calm before the storm, isn’t it how it goes? Soon, those years ended, and the heaviness of two last curses would strike. Sickness fell upon me, and it took years before I was diagnosed with IBS, OCD, gluten and lactose intolerant, as well as meat intolerant too.
The last curse was when my grandpa joined the stars above. He found his place among the kings of the past and guided me from there. He promised he would when I was nine years old.
“Simba, let me tell you something my father told me. Look at the stars. The great kings of the past look down on us from those stars… So whenever you feel alone, just remember that those kings will always be there to guide you.”Walt Disney 1994 – The Lion King – Mufasa
He vowed one day, he would be among the stars and guide me. But it didn’t matter. I fell to pieces and developed PTSD and chronic anxiety.
My Fairy Godmother Found My Dress
As a creative, I had a thousand ideas for our perfect wedding. Robert waited for the pain of grief to subside as well as my IBS. He even waited for us to be in our new house and start our new life before asking me to be his queen and wife.
I knew what dress I wanted or at least what it had to be. I told the seller I wanted “the baby of Marie Antoinette’s bridal dress and Disney‘s Belle’s gold dress.”
I tried many on as the seller said she was having fun playing dolls with me. So many wanted the mermaid cut or the trumpet cut that she forgot how fun it was to go full ball gown.
The Fairest Of Them All
I found my dress when the seller brought me to the ‘attic.’ It was a golden white fabric with many baroque embroideries. It had a sweetheart neckline and softly when from the corset to grow into a bell shape.
It looked vintage and had everything I was looking for. My best friend at the time and conscience had tears building in her moss green eyes. She hugged me and said it was mine.
We even found the bridal veil that almost matched the last detail of the embroideries on the dress. I was ready to pay for the dress, but my mother stepped up and took the tab. I wasn’t expecting it at all, but she did and paid for all the details that came with it.
The Hell Of All Fairy Tales
When it was up to slowly start planning it all, it fell apart and slipped right through my hands. Despite booking thirteen months in advance the venue and the church, the one, I dreamed of since I was a toddler, a nightmare settled in.
I lost some people close to me, and it broke me within. I never thought it would hurt this much, but Robert helped me through it. My best friend and cousin stepped forward to take on the tasks at hand. But it didn’t change the fact that my OCD was getting worst and with it, so did paranoia.
Growing up, I was the black sheep and the abnormal kid. I never had real friends because I never cared for humans. As I grew older, I learned to rely on certainties.
Some Things Never Change
Humans are not certain creatures. They’re volatile and self-centered by nature. So, the bridesmaids I had that walked away on me reminded me never to trust humans. As of that day, I have forever changed. Nothing would ever be the same.
Robert felt that betrayal and can say we both changed. It was us against the world. But it’d be okay. October 14th, 2017, was locked in. Together we’d make it. I could also never forget how my friends from the United States, my 2nd cousin from Ontario, and my best friend helped.
Ever After In The Making
The night before the wedding was the most beautiful time of my life. The Disney Princess in me had a little traditionalist part in her. I asked Robert to sleep at his mother’s house so that we respect an old tradition.
My best guy-friend came from Baltimore and left with Robert. James is my closest friend today, and he knew every step I took on that adventure to become a wife. He helped me make it happen. He was there even to help decorate the venue and turn it all into a Fall Fairy Tale wedding.
When the two men left, it was me and my American friends and bridesmaids. We had the time of our lives drinking all sorts of high-end teas, plateaus of fruits, and sweets.
Everyone was sleeping in our house. Because I couldn’t sleep alone in the big bed, too anxious, my maid of honor did. Funny note, she snores like a little kitten purrs.
My dress was hung from the curtain bar, and I couldn’t believe that the morning after would be our wedding day.
Until Death Do Us Part
The wedding day was overcast and a little rainy and perfect for me. My favorite days are the rainy ones. I wore my pointe ballet shoes because I once was a ballerina for thirteen years of my life. October in Quebec is vibrant with red, gold, orange, and a temperature that isn’t too cold or hot.
The church of Saint-Sauveur was the perfect ceremony, and my childhood dream came true! I was only four years old when I said I would get married in that church, and I was. Overlooking the most adorable-looking town in the mountains, the church stands proud and tall.
At the golf country club, Robert and I had our reception. The venue is literally five minutes away by car from our house. It has tall and wide windows overlooking the golf course. It was perfect for taking magical pictures and having a small reception.
This Love That We Share Into The Open Air
Robert and I only invited the people close to us. We had forty-eight people present. His family and my friends. Yes, you read right. Aside from my mother and second cousin, none of my family received an invitation.
We only played 80s glamour rock and epic Celtic music. It was a Disney Fantasy!
Because our wedding took place on October 14th, beforehand, my bridesmaids and I picked pumpkins for decorations, leaves, nuts, pinecones, and corn for decorations.
But we also made apple pies for dessert instead of cake and had a full homemade bakery sweet that was gluten and lactose-free.
Chase The Wind And Touch The Sky
The reception went perfectly. I was anxious, but my maid of honor had us choose one word that was a code for “I need my medication” Hakuna Matata
The Lion King is my favorite movie of all time. Because my grandfather was my Mufasa and I was his Simba, my left upper arm is a half sleeve of Mufasa in the clouds. That way, he did walk me down the aisle and remained with me.
However, when the dance part of the night was in full motion, one of my American friends was crying outside. Our wedding, like Robert and I, wasn’t crazy about the drinking.
We didn’t have an open bar. My friend was crying, and I took care of her for a while. I spent some time with her to make her feel better.
What If The World Was Mine?
I went back in for our sole tradition. We agreed to the bridal garter. It was an excuse to play the song of my favorite TV series, True Blood, I Wanna Do Bad Thing With You by Josh Everett.
When our wedding was over, which actually ended right before the DJ would have charged us an extra hour, we stayed.
My bridesmaids and friends helped take down the decorations and move everything to the vehicles. I helped a little and drank a few sips of rum even though I never drink, but rum is my favorite if I do.
We had the entire wedding packed the same night and lived five minutes away. The house was whole from my American friends staying over for the night.
Can You Feel The Love Tonight?
We went to spend fourteen days in Vermont. It was the most wonderful vacation of my life. I never had one until our honeymoon! Our honeymoon wasn’t too far from home because we wanted to bring our dog with us.
It was as if I smoked an entire pack of cigarettes and drank a whole bottle of rum. But, see, the morning after the wedding I woke up with my throat hurting. Staying outside late at night with my friend who cried gave me wonderful tonsillitis. I didn’t need to go to the doctor to know.
I didn’t let tonsillitis destroy our honeymoon. For three nights in a row, I had a fever and could barely sleep. My solution was to drink a gallon of orange juice every day! I couldn’t eat much, but I have cibophobia anyway.
However, every morning, we had this royalty-worthy all-you-can-eat breakfast that was the most delicious. We sat at our table among other visitors and tourists and had the time of our lives. It was magical.
Do You Wanna Build A Snowman?
October in Vermont is almost identical to Quebec’s fall season. We could walk everywhere in Stowe and admire the town and its gorgeous architecture. My cheeks hurt so much because I couldn’t stop smiling!
I had no voice, fever, headache, but it was sunny and not too cold or too warm, and people were kind! I wanted to enjoy the life I’ve lived so far. For the first time in forever, I was happy, and I spread that joy around. To me, it was crazy to realize I found romance, my true love, just like Disney showed me I would.
We took long walks in various historical cemeteries. We visited haunted places and lost ourselves in the mountains! I finally bought some NyQuil to help me sleep and maybe take the edge of tonsillitis off.
A little voice in my head told me to call my pharmacist. I did, and thank you, grandpa, because it was not compatible with my medication. If I took NyQuil for a full day, it would poison my blood.
I kept my orange juice coming and had the most beautiful honeymoon ever. I muffled the pain with orange juice and joy.
They Lived Happily Ever After
It’s been four years now that we are married but sixteen years that we are together. When I look back on my life at this moment, I realize I was blessed with my own fairy tale. Not everyone can say they relate to princesses, but I do.
My favorite number is 14, and that’s our anniversary. My favorite month is October, and we got it. My favorite church, music, instrumental, and foods. I found my perfect dress, wore my pointe shoes, my brand-new tattoos, and people who loved me.
I lived through drama, pain, and toxicity that had me hurt myself more than I could imagine. I found not a prince but a king to be with me and love me. Our song is Everything I Do, I Do It For You from one of my favorite movies, Robin Hood, Prince Of Thieves. I have wanted that song ever since I heard it the first time in 1992.
I started with Once Upon A Time, and now, it’s the adventure of Happily Ever After.